50 Things That You Should Not Tweet

  1. You are bored.
  2. You haven’t tweeted in a while because you can’t think of anything to say.
  3. No one understands you in this two bit town.
  4. Amy and Jessica are so un-cool and Tiffany is a slut (unless you have pictures).
  5. You will tell only the truth here.
  6. You went off your diet – again.
  7. You just love the new single by (put favorite pop idol here).
  8. You got so drunk last night… (unless you have pictures).
  9. It rained (or didn’t rain) today.
  10. A politition sucks or a politician is wonderful.
  11. You skipped classes today because you are so sick, or depressed, or bored.
  12. You don’t feel like doing your homework assignment.
  13. A picture of yourself in your Zena Warrior Princess outfit.
  14. Football scores or Futebol scores or Soccer scores.
  15. You and your boyfriend are so much in love that you can’t believe it.
  16. Anything at all about Indian Cricket.
  17. A haiku that you wrote yourself.
  18. The conversation that you had with God.
  19. You are so depressed today.
  20. Everything went wrong today.
  21. Your cancer is still in remission.
  22. The latest video game that you played.
  23. That you are a blue guy in a red state or a red guy in a blue state.
  24. Links to your cruise pictures.
  25. Your favorite blond joke.
  26. ThisĀ  is waste of time because you know that nobody will understand what you are really trying to say.
  27. This is your first tweet.
  28. Doctor Destructo is not your real name.
  29. A link to any page with aligned=right, marquee or blink.
  30. A link to any page that uses more than 2 font sizes or colors.
  31. A link to any page with JavaScript alert messages.
  32. You’ve found the perfect man – again.
  33. Links to video game screen shots.
  34. Private messages to the only person who follows your tweets.
  35. This time it will be different”, in regards to weight loss, love life, or quitting smoking.
  36. Random pictures of things in your yard.
  37. Another picture of your damn cat.
  38. A YouTube.com link to a skateboarder breaking his arm.
  39. Pictures of the strange sore on your lip.
  40. How long you had to wait for the bus this morning.
  41. Your high score in Guitar Hero.
  42. Ebay auctions that you didn’t win.
  43. Pictures of yourself taken in the mirror that are mostly flash.
  44. Any sentence that begins: I know no one wants to hear this, but…
  45. Where you finally found your keys.
  46. What creature you found in the Chinese Food you ate last night.
  47. A picture of your dog with his tongue in your mouth.
  48. You can’t remember the last time you met a nice girl.
  49. The color of your puke (or anything else that comes out of your body).
  50. Where you found the hamster after it went missing for a week.